Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Hardest Working Bras in Hollywood

Hardest Working Bras in Hollywood

Bras get a bad rap. They seldom stay on and when they come off, no one cares what happens to them. They have a shelf life of 2 years and there always seems to be a newer, thinner, better versions coming out. Even so, some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood have good reason to purchase many more bras since the ones they use now barely contain the twins. So here’s the full rundown of the hardest working bras in Hollywood ranked from smallest cup size to largest




Katie Price aka Jordan (32-D)
















I know, I know. Look at those things. I fooled you guys by using a pic BEFORE she got them reduced. If we don't count reductions, Punky Brewster (Soleil Moon Frye) would be on this list.




Jennifer Connelly (34-D)
















People tend to forget that she has amazing jugs because she covers them up all the time. Let those bad boys free, JC!




Adrienne Barbeau (36-D)
















Ah, who said we'd only feature 'modern day' actresses? We've heard the name tossed around the elks club, but we mostly remember A.B. from Cannonball Run. Those jumpsuits were ON FIRE!



Amber Smith (36-D)
















She was told she was "too tall" and "too beautiful" for Hollywood. What is this, Fight Club? Her pictorials in Maxim will go down as the hottest in the magazine's history.




Ann-Margret (36-D)
















Ah, another throwback. We appreciate women of all ages here at COED, and though we weren't around fro AM's heyday, we sure did appreciate her GILF-iness in Grumpy Old Men. That was Jack Lemon's first boner in 2 decades.



Jacqueline Bisset (36-D)

















She was nominated for an Emmy and 4 Golden Globes. Insert joke about her having Golden Globes here. Here's a fun fact: She's Angelina Jolie's godmother. Where's Angie on this list? Chick's only got a C-cup. PASS!



Jeri Ryan (36-D)
















We're not huge Star Trek fans here at COED, but dem D-cup phasers are set to stun. Beam our eyes up before we get slapped!




Shannon Elizabeth (36-D)
















We'd seen a lotta t*tties before Shannon's popped up on the screen in American Pie, but our jaw has never dropped harder. We were shouting right along with everyone else watching that webcast.



Shannon Tweed (36-D)
















This tall Canadian drink of water was Miss November 1981 and Playmate of the Year in 1982. She went on to steal many of our late nights in several softcore Skinemax flicks before marrying Kiss lead singer Gene Simmons and starring on Family Jewels. Insert pearl necklace joke here.



Shannon Whirry (36-D)
















Who? Exactly. If you're movie nerds like us, you might remember her as the boob upon which Jim Carrey sucked in Me, Myself, and Irene. We didn't say the actresses were award-winning, dude.



Eva Amurri (36-D)
















Susan Sarandon has nice cans (they're C cups, btw). Her daughter, however, has bigger and better bazookas. Call it evolution, I guess. If you're a Californication fan, you've had the pleasure of seeing these puppies unleashed. If not, throw that in your Netflix queue.




Raquel Welch (38-D)
















Watch One Million Years B.C. Just watch it. She was also still petrifying peens in the third Naked Gun movie.



Kat Dennings (38-D)
















Her sweater kittens (or full grown cats) first burst onto the scene in 40 year old virgin. Her whiny, cynical behavior was forgiven in the brief shots of her cleave. Still hasn't shown off the curves yet. Unless you count the nude pics she leaked. You can find those in the link below.



Mimi Rogers (38-D)

















Tom Cruise's ex-wife? Yeah, forgot about that, didn't we? If she still doesn't ring a bell, she played Elizabeth Hurley's mom in Austin Powers. The thing about huge natural boobs is they have tendency to hit the floor as the time goes on. I'd still pay money to watch them clap, though.



Jodie Marsh (32-DD)
















Who is Jodie Marsh? She is a British bombshell from the UK's version of Big Brother. So why include her in a list for Hollywood's hardest working bras? Because she is absolutely loaded.



Kim Kardashian (32-DD)
















Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're really stretching the definition of "actress" but other than playing herself she was in Disaster Movie. We think she does a better job of acting like she loves that New Jersey Net. Can't argue with her curves, though.



Katey Sagal (34-DD)
















We hope you're not surprised. Peg Bundy packed a serious punch. Why else do you think Al stuck around all those years?



Kelly Brook (34-DD)

















No doubt about it, she's better known for taking purdy pics, but she's done a fair amount of acting, most notably her lead role in Piranha 3-D. Shoulda been called "Piranha 34-DD" with 2 hours of her moving vigorously.




Christina Aguilera (34-DD)
















But, she's a singer! Yeah her dough's made doling out knockdown notes but she starred in Burlesque. That's a movie. I didn't see it, but I'm hoping there's a director's cut in which she massages her monster mammaries with baby oil for 10 minutes. Some would say pregnancy does a chest good, others say enhanced. What do you say?



Jessica Simpson (34-DD)

















Jessica Simpson can be thick, skinny, bald, or fat. The only difference is how the media depicts her. She has always had a set of cannons atop the dome that made most women jealous.




Scarlett Johansson (34-DD)
















How could Ryan Reynolds divorce this woman? If I were married to her, I would not leave the house unless she wanted me to.



Sofia Vergara (36-DD)

















That kid on Modern Family must have the most swollen blue balls known to man. When he eventually achieves full release everyone better be wearing ponchos.




Pamela Anderson (36-DD)
















I think I will go out on a limb, and not the one you are thinking of, and say that Pamela Anderson is the closest thing to perfection since the invention of pizza rolls.



Nicole 'Coco' Austin (38-DD)
















But but but - SHUT UP! She's a "reality TV star" now, which by the loosest definition possible means she's an actress. A lot of models look good and sexy in their shoots, Coco takes it to a whole 'nother level. You see her pics and it feels like the computer screen is about to explode. Just put her in movies, doesn't matter what.




Dolly Parton (40-DD)
















Ah yes, another singer turned actress. Ever seen 9-to-5? How do you NOT sexually harrass that?!



Heidi Montag (34-DDD)
















Even after 243 surgeries on her already rocking body, Heidi Montag is full of fakeness and yet somehow is does not bother us. Real or Fake, boobies are still boobies.




Christina Hendricks (38-DDD)
















Christina Hendricks is the new form of perfection. Pamela Anderson was perfection in the 90's and the 00's. But the new age of gorgeous women with huge melons now starts with Mrs. Hendricks.

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